REFRIDGERATOR RAGE

Everybody has heard of road rage, but what about REFRIGERATOR RAGE? I work in a fairly small office, that is generous enough to provide lots of snack from Sam's and keeps the fridge stocked with soda. There are several known causes of REFRIGERATOR RAGE.

Solo Rage

Solo Rage usually occurs at home, but can also occur at the office. You get so hungry that your stomach temporarily takes control of your brain and you swing open the door with a huff. You then proceed to rummage through the entire contents of the fridge, open every drawer, peek into every shelf, in search of some satisfying morsel of food. Condition is said to worsen if no acceptable food is found.

Refill Rage

In our office, soda is abundantly provided and only a few steps away in our pantry. Refill rage is common when the beverage selection runs low and a desired caffeine-free, diet speciality drink is OUT. Now, there are plenty of warm ones in the closet, but the refill rage is directed at the other drinkers, who clearly could not be bothered to re-stock as they indulged in the last precious drink.

Spill Rage

Spill rage comes over the finder of mess across one or more shelves in the fridge. It could have been an accidental bump that knocked an unsecured container over or it could have been a loose lid that was the source of the contaminant. Spill rage worsens if the mess has been left for multiple days to harden or has directly contacted the finder's own personal contents in the fridge.

Space Rage

Depending on how large your office is and how many women are on a diet, your fridge may be stuffed with a cornucopia of every low-fat, low-sugar, fat-free, caffeine-free, baked not fried, frozen veggie arrangement and snack on the planet. When you simply want a place to put your puny sandwich or a little salad, only to have to re-arrange the entire contents of the fridge, space rage ensues. Space rage can worsen if the unluckily lunch-packer must open a month old Rubbermaid container to determine the contents smell like a dumpster.

Disappearing Rage

The final act of refrigerator cowardice is the worst of all. When you bring your own supplies or meal, only to find they have mysteriously grown legs and walked off. Realizing your goods are gone, sends you into solo rage seeking some type of food to replace your missing food. Hopefully there are no spills created in the after-math and perhaps a kind soul has re-stocked the fridge with at least some edible morsel of food or a substitute drink.

GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY: My daily lunch sandwich doesn't take up too much space, doesn't spill, doesn't get stolen and is re-stocked every morning.